Yay! September's Guest Post is here! I am so grateful to have several young men and women step up to help me with my Guest Posts and give you all a bit more of variety in the posts. Without Further Ado I give you "You're So Annoying," by Mary Stone.
Driver’s Ed is an annoying class and sadly I was required to take it. The classroom portion, although boring, wasn’t bad and neither was my behind-the-wheel instructor... Most of the time. He was a good instructor and gave me great feedback on somethings my mom would have to work on with me as she taught me to drive but oh he got on my nerves whenever he said, “Now Mary, don’t cross the white line. The white line is your friend and you don’t want to cross your friend.” And he was saying that ALL THE TIME. “Well!” I thought to myself, “Since you don’t want me to cross the white line I’ll just drive in the middle of the road! You certainly won’t be thinking about crossing the white line when we end up in a head-on collision with a car coming from the other direction!”
Wait, we need to stop and think for a moment here. Yes, my driving instructor might’ve been able to tell me what to do in a less annoying and more loving manner to be less annoying to me, but when I lashed back at him (even though it was only in my thoughts) I was being annoying too.
We’re All Annoying, Difficult to Love People
Because of The Fall, we live in a world where we’re surrounded by people who infuriate us and are difficult to love. For example, we have people who hate us for no apparent reason. And we have people who are always unhappy. And we even have people who aren’t doing any real harm but are just doing every last one of our pet peeves. But remember, The Fall didn’t affect just those people you find hard to love... It affected you too.
In response to these annoying people, what do we sometimes do? Well, sometimes we lash out at them, either verbally or in our heads like I did. Sometimes, we tell our friends about them. Sometimes, we try to manipulate them or avoid them. If someone you knew gossiped about you, or argued with you all the time, or manipulated you, or avoided you, you’d be hurt, wouldn’t you? Well, that’s how the people you can’t stand feel. They’re saddened by how you don’t seem to like them, and we should be sad because of how we’ve treated them.
Additionally, God is saddened by your behavior. God hates sin and it grieves him to see you (a child of his if you have repented of your sin and believe in him) falling into it.
I imagine it’s a bit depressing to feel that you’re just as flawed as the people you can’t love but understanding this and believing it is key. Why? It will be how you can love the people who are annoying to you.
Wait, we need to stop and think for a moment here. Yes, my driving instructor might’ve been able to tell me what to do in a less annoying and more loving manner to be less annoying to me, but when I lashed back at him (even though it was only in my thoughts) I was being annoying too.
We’re All Annoying, Difficult to Love People
Because of The Fall, we live in a world where we’re surrounded by people who infuriate us and are difficult to love. For example, we have people who hate us for no apparent reason. And we have people who are always unhappy. And we even have people who aren’t doing any real harm but are just doing every last one of our pet peeves. But remember, The Fall didn’t affect just those people you find hard to love... It affected you too.
In response to these annoying people, what do we sometimes do? Well, sometimes we lash out at them, either verbally or in our heads like I did. Sometimes, we tell our friends about them. Sometimes, we try to manipulate them or avoid them. If someone you knew gossiped about you, or argued with you all the time, or manipulated you, or avoided you, you’d be hurt, wouldn’t you? Well, that’s how the people you can’t stand feel. They’re saddened by how you don’t seem to like them, and we should be sad because of how we’ve treated them.
Additionally, God is saddened by your behavior. God hates sin and it grieves him to see you (a child of his if you have repented of your sin and believe in him) falling into it.
I imagine it’s a bit depressing to feel that you’re just as flawed as the people you can’t love but understanding this and believing it is key. Why? It will be how you can love the people who are annoying to you.
Christ
However, we must never ever forget the good news! Christ died on the cross for our sins, including the sins we commit when we don’t love those difficult people! Yes, even though our sin grieves God, He still loves us enough to give up His Son so that we might be forgiven and be His children. Isn’t that amazing? “If only I could love the difficult people in my life like that,” you think to yourself. Here’s more good news for you: With the help of the Holy Spirit, you can!
How do I Love Difficult People?
When you’re trying to love someone, there is only one goal you must have when you do it: to help them be everything God wants them to be. If you start loving someone with the goal of just having them be nicer to you, then you’re not really loving them, you’re manipulating them. I know, it will be difficult to keep that goal but pray fervently that God will give you the Holy Spirit so that you can do it, and have other people pray for you too!
In addition to prayer, here are some things you can do to love the difficult and annoying people in your life:
1.) Admit Your Own Failings. Although the people who you’re trying to reach out to already know some of your failings, they will appreciate it when you admit them to them and ask for forgiveness. Why? It gives them hope that they can change too. If they see you, who once avoided them (or hurt them in some other way), reaching out to them in love, they’ll know you’ve changed and they will see that they can change too. Additionally, this gives glory to God because you are displaying what he can do!
2.) Point Out Areas Where They’ve Become More Christ-Like. This is simple encouragement. We all know how happy it makes us when someone encourages us and it will certainly please the people you are trying to reach out to. Now, this may be difficult because it’s hard to find good things in someone you dislike, but don’t worry! Those things are there and when you see them and point them out to this person, it will not only cheer them up but it will make them more visible to you too.
3.) Be Ready for the Long Haul. Healthy relationships don’t come in a day, especially with someone you used to be at odds with, which is why you need to be ready to do this for a long time. Yes, it will be hard, yes it will sometimes seem like you’re making no progress at all, but the result will be beautiful. It will be a person who, with your help, has come a long way in being what God wants them to be and who glorifies God in what they do. And through this process, he or she won’t be the only one glorifying God or becoming more like what God wants them to be... You’ll be those things too!
You can ready more of Mary's writing on her blog here!
Please comment below your thoughts on how to love annoying people, what Mary has shared with us or even something totally random and off topic that this post made you think of! The guest posters, as well as myself really enjoy your comments!
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